


Worse Luck

by notcrindy



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, basically lydia is left alive and what that means, i'm kind of starting to think it's not a one-shot tho, this might be a one-shot might not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-14
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2018-12-29 18:09:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12090549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notcrindy/pseuds/notcrindy
Summary: At the end of "the Suffering Game," Lydia doesn't die. She's left to grieve and wail for her twin in agony.Taako can't imagine a more painful punishment and doesn't know why.





	1. Chapter 1

Taako was not a forgiving person.

There should have been no sympathy left. There practically  _ wasn’t, _ after the hell he’d been forced to endure in this rave-riddled rot of a place. He’d known, of course, that it would be some tough shit; Lucretia wasn’t someone he took all that lightly, for all the mischief he managed to cause and the quips he gave now and then. Was just something about her, he guessed. But it was still so much worse than he’d imagined, and they’d all lost so fucking much between the three of them.

Trust was shot to high hell. He watched love drown in front of him while yelling his name, frantically grasping hands outward and begging for help. Friendships were forsaken. The place was designed to squelch any positive feeling you might have under its might like an insect on the sole of a shoe, and though he’d been charmed at first by its entire aesthetic, now he found that he never wanted to fucking hear that music or see those flashing lights ever again.

It was a surprise to him, but he wanted to go home. It was also a surprise to him that he knew at all what home  _ was, _ after a lifetime of near constant travel. He was keeping himself upright with pure adrenaline and instinct, operating in the only ways he knew how, but he knew the second they turned away from this place and got back to the moon base his legs’d turn to jelly unceremoniously beneath him.

Of course, he’d deal with the trauma and hurt later. They all would, probably, somehow. There’d be healing to do and lots of it from all sides, but for now he didn’t let it occur to him. Didn’t let himself think too much about the damage done, just watched his umbrella spit that form on out.  Watched as it turned to ash. Watched as Edward’s twin took this all in for a moment, and when she began to  _ scream  _ he didn’t even flinch.

The longer it went on, though, the more uncomfortable it was.

Maybe he’d just expected something  _ more  _ to happen. This whole goddamn thing had been such a fiasco that he’d kind of wanted to see both of ‘em go out, to see her meet an end she was supposed to so that they could get the Bell and split. Everything had felt wrong from the moment they’d arrived, had  _ been _ wrong even, but this was a sort of wrong that almost writhed in his gut and split off into butterflies. After all the charades and the lights and the action, he expected she’d have a little fight left. Or  _ something. _

Instead, she lunged at Magnus’s body and then buckled beside it.

The wailing hadn’t stopped. He watched as all the glamor she’d dolled herself up with fell away to make something else, and for a moment he wondered if anyone would have to do the honors. Uncertain glances cast toward the rest of the party confirmed that everyone was just  _ watching _ this disgusting spectacle, waiting for something to happen so they could claim their prize.

He was sick of waiting.

The Umbra Staff was still in hand.

Taako was not a forgiving person. Once wronged, he held onto that wrong as tight as he’d ever held onto grim death. Even minor slights could result in major distrust, and he’d had plenty to resent. He’d watched it literally powering this place, known just how much of it had run rampant with every single breath, and he was less ready to forgive than ever. Nothing and no one should have ever been able to forgive this place, what it had done to them all.

He raised the Staff.

She was  _ howling _ like a wounded animal. If anything, it would have been a kindness to put her down. He thought, numbly, of putting things out of misery. He thought as she fell to pieces in front of him that he was  _ glad _ that this hurt. He was glad to watch her clad in the color of mourning, drab and awful, heaving with the pure feeling that kept her tethered. She had attempted to kill him, had attempted to kill the others, had caused more suffering than he could ever see her experience in front of him.

Nothing happened.

He couldn’t do it. It was disgusting and pitiful, but he was without pity. Somehow as he stared her down, as he heard her shriek and lose sight of herself before him, he knew instinctively what had to be done. He knew that if Fate wouldn’t fall in his favor and do this for him, for them, this was the worst action he could possibly take. He looked down at her with feverish eyes, tired eyes lit up only by the need to make it out of this actual fucking pit, and he was the first one to approach.

“Taako?”

“What the hell are you  _ doing? _ ”

He paid them no mind, nearly on autopilot by this point. “Hey. You.”

There was no response. She was curled up, clawing at the lack of a real face. The incessant sound of pain spilling from her lips was even more unbearable up close, but it didn’t matter to him anymore. It was background noise by now, not nearly as important as the task at hand.

“Yeah,  _ you. _ My umbrella just gobbled your partner in crime there straight up, so it would suit you to pay the fuck  _ attention, _ I think.”

This got through for a brief moment. He was satisfied enough with the way the shrieking died down, and he could sense the way that whatever the fuck was in there anymore was trying to tie itself to anything. This would be a pretty damn decent act of mercy, he thought, for a lich. It was the only one he could manage.

He could at least give her one last purpose.

“So you understand. Give us the fucking Bell.”

Goddamn, it was like they said about the eyes of a shark or something. If there even were such a saying anyway, and if there were any eyes to fucking speak of regardless. Something about it was so deeply awful, he wanted to squirm in his own skin. He felt some kind of chill as he regarded the way she was trying to come back, regain herself in any kind of way, even after her brother was gone. 

He didn’t know why. It made him even more impatient, honestly.

“Hey, lich bitch, anybody _home?_ That wasn’t a request. The Animus Bell. _Now._ ”

“Taako, why don’t we just--”

“Give her a chance to  _ respond _ first, Merle. For fuck’s  _ sake. _ ”

He was patient with her the way vultures were. He stared her down in those fucking eye sockets until he saw some kind of change in the demeanor, whether or not the other people with him understood. Hell, maybe  _ he _ barely understood.  It didn’t matter. 

She spoke up. 

“I… ...can’t.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Taako leaned forward, cupping a hand to his ear. He was often mocking, even playful, in his daily banter with people. This had a bite he’d scarcely even heard from himself before, and maybe if he’d been able to really think about anything for a few measly seconds, it would’ve spooked him a little. “Maybe I’m missing something here, but it kinda sounds like you think this is optional! Did it at all sound that way to  _ you _ guys?”

He didn’t give them a chance to respond.

“I’m gonna ask  _ politely _ this time. One more shot at this, okay? Do you have the Bell or not?”

She wouldn’t dare break eye contact with him now, and it occurred to him somewhat vaguely that she was probably using whatever spite she felt for him to keep her here now. It took a bit for the words to reach her again. “Yes.”

He was satisfied, standing upright again. “Can you cough it the fuck up,  _ please? _ I’ve got a pretty tight schedule right now that involves not ever witnessing this garbage dump purgatory again, and I’ve  _ gotta _ get back. Booked up ‘til forever.”

She turned away from him. “No.”

It didn’t take much for Taako to snap after that, and he didn’t feel quite himself when he did it. Logically, he knew that he was just lunging for a being of pure fucking magic and it  _ probably  _ wasn’t the most stellar goddamn idea in the world, but emotionally he just wanted to rip her limb from limb. “Oh, you  **_stubborn_ ** bag of bones and  _ shit _ \--”

Pretty soon, the mannequin he called his friend at the moment was grabbing him, and it didn’t take much effort at all for him to be subdued after Wonderland had kicked his ass. He tried to swing feebly for another second, but it was pretty easy to give up.

“Mags, what are you doing? You out of everyone should understand! You’re out of a  _ body. _ ”

“Don’t give me that bullshit. What are  _ you _ doing, Taako?”

“So what, you’re the  _ only _ one who’s allowed to rush in now? Aren’t I afforded like,  _ some _ degree of changing it up so neither of us gets typecast? Let me go!”

“Taako, we can just  _ kill _ her to get it, right? We don’t have to  _ do _ this shit right now.”

“Yeah,” Merle sans eye spoke up from behind them both. “I uh, I vote for the killing too. Seems pretty straightforward.”

“We can just  _ destroy _ her to get it, yeah?” Magnus was addressing the Red Robe now, and he seemed to be nodding. “See? We can put an end to this real quick.”

“What?  _ No. _ ” A twitch went through Taako’s whole body, and it felt so involuntary it nearly startled him. “I swear to  _ fuck, _ if either of you tries to kill her in  _ front of me _ \--”

“What are you  _ talking _ about? You just tried to  _ throttle _ the undead, and now you don’t want us to kill her?” Magnus was too concerned about the wellbeing of his friends sometimes. It should’ve been a good quality in a guy, but it had a tendency to get in the way. “You’re not making any sense!”

It was infuriating how calm and collected a body made out of wood seemed, in comparison to his shaky and mortal sack of fuckery. Taako could almost swear that if Magnus were in his usual human bod right about now, he’d be as frazzled as he was supposed to be. Instead, he was stuck with this. No nerves, no brain. Probably no proper response. “I’m making more sense than  _ you,  _ Mannequin McGee.”

It was impossible to tell with a lack of a face (what was with that today?), but Taako thought that maybe this struck a chord. “All right, that’s it. Didn’t really want it to come to this, but you’re not thinking rationally.”

“Oh, and  _ you _ are?”

“Merle, cast Calm Emotions.”

“You got it.”

It wasn’t fucking fair. He tried his best to resist it, feeling the uncharacteristically calm seeping in and tug at his mind, but it was taking more energy than he had at the moment. “I liked you better when you were a  _ real boy _ with  _ feelings. _ ” His muscles were starting to relax now, bit by bit. He tried to hate it.

“Sorry, Taako,” Merle called from a little ways off.

“Yeah, sorry, man. Just have to do what we have to do, is all.”

“ _ Fuuuuuck _ you,” he said, without any real feeling. “Okay, whatever. Fine. You can put me down.” He might not have been feeling any rage anymore, but it was difficult not to feel defeated as the apathy set in. Just what he needed at a time like this, a kick while he was down.

“Promise you won’t go all newly weird Taako ballistic?”

“Magnus, does it look like I give a shit at  _ all _ about anything? Just set me down before it wears off, okay?”

Thankfully, he obliged.

“Look, I don’t care. You guys do what you want with that thing and get the Bell or whatever. I’ll just be like.. ...waiting over here. But I just don’t think you could leave her in any worse state than she’s in, anyway. It’s a mercy killing.”

“A mercy killing?” Merle asked from somewhere.

“Yeah. Nothing’s worse than losing your twin.” He made his way over to what he knew was brick and mortar to blast a hole clean through a wall, so he could just get out of here already, shuffling like a zombie and feeling heavier every minute.

“Why do you think that?”

The question haunted him later.


	2. Chapter 2

For now, he just wanted to get out of there.

When he lifted the Umbra Staff to blast a hole through, nothing stopped him. Magnus and Merle were both talking about what Taako kindly would have referred to as irrelevant shit, so he wasted no time.

Sunlight greeted him, and it almost made him feel sick after he’d spent so much time in there. He took one whiff of the fresh air around him and then keeled over, vomiting a neat mixture of bile and blood onto the dirt. The adrenaline had kept him going, but now it was starting to register how bad off he was, and he couldn’t quite get back on his feet no matter how much he willed it. He got to his knees and then sat, shivering against nothing in particular, the anger starting to resurface.

Merle was the first to find him, and even though he was in pretty bad shape himself, he was quick to express concern for his friend. Of course he fucking was. “You okay, Taako? Sorry things got hairy back there.”

“Hairy?  _ Hairy? _ ” The giggles that came out of his mouth were strange and frightening. The tears, in front of fucking  _ Merle Highchurch _ no less, were even more so. “Yeah, I’d say things got pretty fuckin’  _ covered _ in hair back there, my guy.” 

The laughter started to hurt. “ _ Ouch--fuck!! _ ” He spat up more blood. “Ooh. Will you lookit that.”

He felt woozy, now that he really thought about it.

“But I’m totally cool, dude. Taako can handle himself. Just gimme a second.”

“Nu-uh- _ uh. _ ” Damn dwarf was so short he barely needed to squat down to get on his level. “I’m gonna heal you, okay? We’re okay now. We’re safe now, and I can do it.”

“No,” he babbled deliriously. “No, really. I don’t fuckin’ need it, dude. Just gotta make it back home.”

Merle sighed. “Look, Taako, um. Not that I’m saying Magnus is  _ right _ or anything, like--I know how he gets, right? You know I do, I’m… I’m with it. But you’re not… ...I mean, I know how he is, but I think he might be right that you’re not thinking so clearly, you know?”

Taako was too exhausted to shoot him any glares, eyes almost glazed over. “What are you--”

“And that’s like, totally  _ cool, _ I get it, I get being off your game sometimes. But I’m gonna heal you anyway, okay? ‘cuz you need it and I don’t think you wanna deal with all this pain and shit the whole way back, do you?”

“Wait. Okay, fine, heal me. Whatever. Wait.”

He felt the relief almost instantaneously, being restored to his usual physical health, and it only made it a little easier to sit up to look around at everything. Most of him was still physically spent to shit, and he still felt so exhausted it was frustrating.

“Where’s Mags?” He managed anyway, ears perking up as he looked around. “Wait.”

After a wave of disorientation and adrenaline hit him again, he narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you tell me he’s back there killing that thing. Look, I know it sounds straight up bonkers, but if he sent you out here to  _ distract _ me while he offed her, honest--”

“Taako. Whoa, hey. Don’t spend all that energy on me, pal. You’re gonna need it to make it the rest of the way back. We’re cool.”

He didn’t give a shit now, trembling like a leaf. “ _ Are _ we? Are we  _ really,  _ like, _ at all? _ I think the fuck  _ not. _ ”

“Taako. Taako. We’re your  _ friends, _ okay? We’re all on the same side here. This place has got everyone thinking a little bit crazy, right? But we’re all  _ okay. _ Calm down.”

“Like hell we are,” he snapped hysterically, trying to shoot upright. “Don’t tell me how to feel. I’m  _ sick _ of that. I’m not trapped in that Game Show From Hell Rerun anymore.”

“No. Nope. You’re not. We’re okay, buddy--”

“So I can feel whatever the fuck I  _ please. _ Got it?”

“Okay. Okay. Let’s just take a breath--”

Neither of them got the chance to before they heard the hysterical sobbing coming from a ways off, and the hairs stood up on the back of Taako’s neck long before he registered where any of it was coming from. Merle didn’t seem nearly as surprised as he did, which should have struck the elf as suspicious, but it didn’t. He tried to stand his ground even as his legs threatened to give out beneath him.

At first, it was difficult to make out, but there were actually words to the wailing this time. When he realized what they were exactly, his blood ran cold, and he felt goosebumps all over. There was a feminine voice screaming like a banshee off in the direction he’d come from, and it was about as unpleasant as the sound of nails down a chalkboard.

“Please,  _ please, pleeeeease, _ ” it was begging of something. Someone. 

_ She  _ was begging.

“Look, I’m really doing you a kindness here, so try to shut the fuck up.”

That was Magnus.

The Red Robe was soon to follow, silent and staring at Taako. There wasn’t the same lifelessness in the eyes, the same shark on the edge of madness quality; if you could accuse something  _ like _ that of having eyes, they seemed… ...sad. It wigged Taako the hell out, and he resolved to keep his  _ distance _ from all weird otherworldly undead things for the next like, forever.

“What are  _ you _ looking at?”

The Red Robe averted its gaze--if it  _ was _ a gaze--right quick. “I don’t blame you for not trusting me right now,” it started, “but everything’s gonna--”

“Look, I don’t give a  _ shit, _ okay?” When Taako mumbled this, he was distracted, because there came Magnus into view in his own body, looking exhausted. It was less about him, though, as triumphant as this victory must’ve been for him, and more about the lich trailing him. She was wailing and draped in mourning; she was vacant and  _ hurt,  _ and Taako nearly didn’t feel in control of himself as he stumbled over to them both.

“Hey,” he spat, “hey. Hey, hey,  _ hey, _ hey,  _ hey _ . What the fuck?”

Magnus wasn’t looking at him. Now it was easier to read the emotions on his face, clear as fucking day, which was always the case with the big guy. Taako didn’t know if that made it better or worse, but he was averting his gaze, looking just as fed up and exhausted as everyone else. “Well, you didn’t want us to kill her.”

Taako laughed. It was… ...a bad laugh?  _ Yuck. _ It wasn’t genuine, but it wasn’t fake either; it sat squarely in the middle and was something that just kind of slipped out of him, startling both himself and everyone around him. “So,” he stammered, “so, so, so, so--so lemme get this  _ straight, _ then. Not that I  _ ever _ do that, but let’s just--okay.  _ Hachi machi, _ all right _. _ ” He nearly inhaled even more sickly sweet air, nearly swayed on his feet, but. No. Hands on hips. He was the only one who was gonna defuse this fuckin’ situation somehow. “So I’m all, ‘hey guys, killing? Not super great,’ and  _ your _ response, Maggo, is to like… ...take this thing  _ home? _ ”

“What the hell else am I  _ supposed _ to do with her, Taako?” Magnus snapped back like a rubber band. “I couldn’t just leave her  _ back _ there.”

The elf laughed again, voice rising to a weirdly hysterical pitch. “Well, well, why the hell  _ not, _ Magsy? In case you forgot already, this fuckin’  _ thing _ just tried to totally wreck shop. And by ‘shop,’ I mean like, ‘ _ us. _ ’ You jump on my dick for leaving her alive and then you decide she’s your little pet, huh? ‘Zat it? You gonna find a fishbowl big enough for  _ her, _ huh?”

“I couldn’t just leave her like  _ that, _ Taako,” Magnus protested. “It was--it was inhumane!”

“Yeah, well, that thing’s a little  _ inhumane  _ herself,” he spat like venom. “‘Sides, she keeps begging you to end it. You think she’s  _ happy _ this way?”

When he dared to look at her again, she was wailing at intervals. He felt this perfectly illustrated his point, gesturing outwards.

“No, but--”

“Will everybody just  _ shut the hell up, _ for Pete’s sake?” Merle raised his voice in a way he didn’t usually, out of sheer  _ anger, _ and everyone turned (including Mister Spooky in Red, antithesis to Taako’s usual Pretty in Pink). He was waving his prosthetic arm wildly, and they remembered just how emphatic he could be for such a small and normally laid back and kinda granola dude. “Look, we have a  _ lot _ we need to do before we even start squabblin’ about this. We’ve been trapped in--in--in hell, I dunno,  _ Hell _ for Pan knows how long, I probably have to heal everybody ‘bout seven times over, I’m willing to bet everyone’s  _ hungry _ ‘n’  _ tired _ ‘n’  _ nobody _ in our position’d be thinkin’ super clear right now, so can we just  _ drop _ it?”

Those that were capable of it blinked at him.

He kept going. “She’s not gonna need any of our resources that a normal elf would or anything, I--I don’t think. We don’t have to  _ worry _ about this. Can we just focus on getting home first,  _ please? _ And maybe wondering what’s up with this Red Robe fella? ‘cuz he seems pretty important to me, I dunno about you.”

“Uh,” said the Red Robe, “thanks.”

“No problem. You seem decent, at least. Holding it together, huh?”

He looked, if he was capable of doing it, out at Lydia and then at Taako, who adjusted his hat to obscure his face just a little and huffed. “Sure trying. But um, look, I know you guys don’t really trust me… ...right now.”

“What clued you  _ in? _ ” Taako scoffed. “Is it ‘cuz we’re so charmed by your  _ cousin _ there?”

Lydia looked at Taako with a void in her eyes, vague animalistic glimmer there and replacing the grief. He hated it. Gave him the willies, so he backed up a little and shivered some more against nothing at all, trying to tilt his hat even more over his face than it already was. Neat little trick, nice place to hide.

“Uh, yeah, good goof. All liches are the same. Anyway, I’m not  _ expecting _ you to, but whether or not you…” He paused like he needed to draw a breath in, which was fucking  _ ridiculous. _ “Whether or not you believe me, or take her with you, or whatever, um. I need you guys to just keep heading back, okay? We gotta get mostly there before nightfall, ideally. And--and I don’t care  _ how _ you get there or what you do. We just… ...we gotta go. Okay?”

“Sounds good to me.” Merle held up his hand in an “okay” gesture. “Fellas?”

“Yeah,” Magnus hesitantly agreed, massaging his temples. “Yeah, okay. Let’s go.”

They all started moving without him, and Taako stubbornly watched them go, trying to decide what to do. The wind was picking up; there was some kind of storm up ahead, and the road looked so treacherous. It was occurring to him, right then, that he just wanted to be in  _ bed, _ but--but this was  _ insane. _ This was  _ bonkers. _ This was complete and utter one hundred percent  _ bullshit _ and he was always  _ good out here _ for a reason and bringing a monster like that back, back to the base was the  _ complete opposite of Taako’s life philosophy. _ But he couldn’t find it in himself to say it, stiff upper lip wobbling something fierce, as he watched her trail the rest of his party and moan in-between keeping quiet and still.

“Taako, you comin’?”

They were all turned back to him, waiting.

After a moment, he sighed, catching up. “All right, then,” he eventually conceded, “but I’m stickin’ by the new one. I don’t want her pulling any  _ shit. _ ”

It felt like he was supposed to walk with her.

He didn’t want to think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uh so remember back almost a year ago when i said this wasn't a one-shot???
> 
> i always... thought it wasn't, LMAO. but i could never quite finish the next chapter. UNTIL TODAY, I GUESS. sorry that it's... short!! but hopefully someone is still into it. <3 thank you so much for all the support and love since i started this thing. it means so much to me. i love this fanbase. STAY TUNED.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope this wasn't too much of a swing and miss. just kind of got a flash of this idea and also if i ever expand upon it "Lydia learning to live without Edward somehow, and Taako learning to live without Lup" is the kind of thing i was going for here. i don't really know at the moment but... ...i hope you all liked it! i'm still working on "Bad Luck," don't worry. just had some inspiration today.


End file.
